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What happens in a first couples session

What happens in a first couples session

No one is put on trial. A first couples session is mostly about understanding the pattern you are both caught in.

No one is put on trial. A first couples session is mostly about understanding the pattern you are both caught in.

Maya Okoye

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6 min read

A bright room with flowers, books and plants by the window

Couples often arrive expecting a referee. One partner has been rehearsing the case for weeks; the other is bracing for it. A good first session disappoints both of them, in a helpful way.

Most of the first hour is about how the two of you got here: how you met, what has changed, and what a typical hard conversation looks like from each side. I’m listening for the pattern, not for who is right.

Many couples are caught in a loop where one person pursues and the other withdraws, and each reaction makes sense given the other. Naming that loop out loud is often the first relief.

You’ll leave with a sense of how we would work together and how often. Some couples come weekly for a few months; others come every other Saturday. Both are normal.

This note is general information, not therapy or medical advice. If something here feels close to home, a free call with one of us is a good next step.

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